Happy 2022! I know we are in four months into the year but this year has been a roller coaster. Today’s blog post is about what this year means to me and a life update.
Let’s catch up shall we. The last time I posted a blog post I was living in New Jersey, working from home and navigating the stay at home Covid lock down order. September of last year I decided to relocate back to my home town of Charlotte, NC. This move was major for me. I had been away from Charlotte for 7 years. I was fresh out of college when I left ready to take on the world. My reasoning for moving back…because I wanted to and to be back near family.
For the longest I went back and forth about when was the right time for me to move back to Charlotte but I needed to do so when I was ready. Family would ask when or how much longer but again I wanted to move on my own terms.
I don’t know why but I equated moving back as me being a failure. Looking back on that thought now is wild. That is the farthest from the truth. When I look back on all that I was able to accomplish hundreds of miles away from family and creating a new adult life for myself from scratch by the grace of God, I am more than proud. I am so grateful to be living close to family as time is so precious and short.
While I am happy to be back in Charlotte what I did not expect was the heavy grieving that would come. Grieving my old life, missing the friends and routines I had, the adjusting to the “new Charlotte” and what the city has now become, the slower pace, and now being in a longer distance relationship…It was a lot! When people ask how it’s going I usually say “I’m adjusting” or “it’s different but not a bad different just different”. I don’t know why I had this expectation that I would just pick back up where I left off before I moved.
“It is okay to feel sad about a decision you make even if it is something you want, and is good for you”.
I instantly started therapy when I moved, and that has helped tremendously. What I realized is that I moved back to a familiar place as a woman and not a child as I left, so of course it would be different. The friends I once had at my disposal to hang with frequently are not as available because of priorities, new families, getting married/engaged, and just normal adult busyness. This is no fault to anyone and is expected as we are all in exciting transition stages of life just trying to make it.
I also feel like everyone has their “tribe” already and for once in my adult life making new friends may be a bit challenging for me than usual. I am not pressed though friends will come. (not looking for pity nor am I sad just keeping it a buck) lol
What this year means to me. This year is very personal. I have been building my “board of directors" in areas I want to flourish in my life. What this means is being content with where things are while currently taking action steps to get to where I want to be. For example, I wanted to learn more about food and my body as it pertains to my fat loss journey so I have been working with a Dietician. I wanted to become more consistent in the gym so I found a fitness routine and gym that I enjoy going to. I had a goal of working on my finances this year, so I have been working with a financial coach… etc. I could go on but this year is personal. Me vs. Me has been taken to new heights. I am hungry.
While I am doing all of this to better myself I am also growing in my spiritual walk. I do believe God is allowing me to encounter certain trials and life lessons for my betterment.. This means staying disciplined and keeping my spirits high and not comparing myself to others. This means facing my failures head on and navigating gracefully. This also means learning to just sit still, if you know me personally that is easier said than done.
I just want to continue to be as vulnerable as I can. Social media shows the highlight reels but I am navigating this thing called life like everyone else.
Thank you for reading & be sure to subscribe more to come!
-XoXo
Taylor